Haunted Hotel
by dppokegirl23
Summary: Ghosts and a very annoying host ain't the problem in this reality show, where the characters are the problem! Okay, suckish summary, but I'm a bit bummed out right now.


Haunted Hotel

Me: Welcome, one and all, to my new reality-show fan fic, Haunted Hotel! Chris McLean, sadly, (does the "I'm watching you" thing) will explain later. And, Disclaimer and Note aren't here yet…

Danny: So we're filling in. Casey does not own anything.

Cosmo: WEEEEE! I'M NOTE!

Wanda: Never mind my husband. There's a teensy bit of homosexuality here (covers Poof's eyes) and a wee bit craziness. And if anyone asks, Star Trek: Legacy's Mark is over at The Omega Sector.

Me: Let the show begin!

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"Hello, everyone!" Chris McLean popped up onto the camera.

"I'm Chris McLean, your host for Haunted Hotel! See, the network decided to air a new reality show after yours truly's other show ended. Let me explain…"

A Revolutionary ghost faded in, right behind Chris. Apparently, the ghost looked surprised.

"What is this contraption?" he asked Chris.

"There are ghosts here!" Chris shouted into the camera, prompting a lazing intern to scream.

"YOU TOLD ME THERE WASN'T ANY GHOSTS!" the intern yelled, marching off the set.

"We-ell… At this very moment, 50 (55 if you include Pikachu and Lynn and a Michael Jackson hologram, plus Timmy's fairies anyway) characters are coming to compete for $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000! They all think it's as easy as pie, since we told them that it was to test their design skills at a 5-star hotel. We also left out the ghosts fact, so don't be surprised if some of them scream in terror." Chris wiggled his eyebrows as the ghost faded away.

"Hey, here come the first few contestants!"

Starfire (1) stepped off the van.

"I thought you have said that we are going to a hotel with five stars, Chris!"

"Here's Starfire, the naïve and gullible but powerful princess from Tamaran, and a Teen Titan!"

"Star's right. You specifically said FIVE STAR, not a rickety old hotel." A black-haired, tanned girl (2) jumped off the van.

"Ah, the very surprising Di-Di."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"She's actually from Toon Gang and I, which was cancelled. She's recovered, and her relationship with Ash Ketchum is full steam ahead!" Chris then slapped Dianne's back.

The now 12-year-old girl replied with a kick to the sweets.

"YOW!"

"It does serve you right for deceiving us into coming to a decrepit hotel!" Starfire scolded the poor host.

Chris gingerly hopped away from the two girls just as a young boy (3) with a Pikachu (4) perched on his shoulder stepped down to join Dianne and Starfire.

"Hey, you might recognize this kiddo. He's a trainer and with him is his best friend Pikachu, it's Ash Ketchum!"

However, Ash and Dianne didn't hear Chris, as they were a little too busy making out, while Pikachu and Lynn (5) chased each other around the van.

"Uh…they are busy doing the making out…" Starfire slowly inched away from the couple.

"So I see. I forgot to introduce you to Lynn, Dianne's very own Pikachu. Don't ask how she got her. Apparently, she has a crush on Ash's Pikachu, who doesn't exactly reciprocate her feelings."

A very famous figure (6) stepped down from the van.

"MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!" Dianne broke away from Ash's kiss to hug the King of Pop.

"Now, what did I do?" Ash asked, scratching his head.

Well, kind of, since a Femerra (7) suddenly kicked her away.

"Girl, he's MY friend, as well as dance instructor."

"Well, he's OUR King of Pop now!"

"Uh…okay…here's Cheska Salcrenia and a hologram of Michael Jackson. Everybody treats Michael as he is the legend himself, but really, he's just a hologram. Cheska, a holo-programmer as well as an Ensign on two starships, made him out of a need for dance instructors."

"HE'S MY FRIEND!" Cheska exploded, kicking Chris's goods.

"Ow…that's gonna leave a mark," Ash commented while Michael smiled.

"You know what sexuality Femerra usually are?" Michael said to Ash.

"What?" Ash raised an eyebrow, clearly interested in Michael's statement while Pikachu hopped on Ash's forehead.

"They usually are lesbians," Michael whispered in Ash's ear.

Hearing that, Ash, creeped out, stepped away from the fight that was starting between Cheska and Dianne.

The fight, however, never started, as a thick-browed, blonde, British man (8) stepped in between them.

"Bloody h*ll, what is wrong with you two? It seems as if you are as mad as a box of frogs!" England, or Arthur Kirkland, chastised the two girls.

However, a certain obnoxious, loud-mouthed, dirty blonde, leather-bomber-jacket-wearing American (9) slung his arm around Arthur's shoulders.

"Hey, Iggy, why is it that we're staying at a rickety old hotel instead of a five-star one like Chris said?" America, or Alfred F. Jones, teased Arthur.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Arthur's reaction is way too filled with too many cuss words plus a few he had made up himself, so I am leaving it up to you guys to imagine how badly his rant was. I'll give you a hint: Dianne, Ash, Chris and Michael rushed back inside the van and didn't come out till Arthur was finished.]

After climbing out, Chris sighed. "Well…Arthur Kirkland and Alfred Jones are embodiments of England and America, respectively. Oh, and the reason as to why you're staying at a rickety old hotel was that, well, I lied. And I also left out the fact that there are ghosts here."

It was Alfred's turn this time to rant, and badly. He paled, then opened his mouth.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's the same as Arthur's rant, only accentuated with a punch to Chris's nose, and, for the third time in the day, a kick to his poor, poor sweets.]

"The time that is third is the charm," commented Starfire on Chris's three little accidents.

"I wouldn't bother making any more snappy comments," replied someone in the van. That someone stepped out, revealing Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana (10). "If I were him, I'd probably run away."

"You all recognize her, don't you?" Chris managed to say.

Apparently, the boys did, as they (and Cheska) rushed the poor pop star/normal teen while Dianne, Starfire, Michael (he was immune somehow), Pikachu and Lynn shrugged and pulled out autograph pads.

"Why do you have an autograph pad?" Dianne asked Michael, who was searching for his favorite pen.

"Some people might either want my signature or I might want someone's signature. In this case, it's the latter," Michael explained.

Another van arrived just as Miley struggled out of the boys' grasp. Another girl, namely, Trixie Tang (11) stepped out of the new Van 2.

"Hi. I'm Trixie Tang. Some of you may know me as the rich girl from Dimmsdale. I know myself as Beatrix Nicole Alexandra Tang IV."

"More like Bitter Tang IV," joked Cheska, flipping a middle finger.

Chris, who had recovered, smirked. "Looks like Trix and the Femerra here are getting off on the wrong foot."

Both girls, taking offense at this, nodded to each other, and, for the fourth time in the day, kicked him right in the man-berries.

"OUCH!!" Chris collapsed and crawled towards a medic who just stepped outside Van 2, namely Dr. Julian Bashir (12) and his new friend Timmy Turner (13). Dr. Bashir raised an eyebrow.

"You must be Chris McLean, judging from the way Cheska kicked you," Dr. Bashir commented while Wanda (14) and Cosmo (15) and Poof (no, he DOES NOT count) jumped onto Cheska's head.

"Hey, what are these? They look like fairies." Cheska reached up to touch Cosmo's wings.

"NO-THEY'RE-NOT-FAIRIES-THEY'RE-COMPUTER-PROGRAMS!!" Trixie and Timmy screamed at the same time.

"Okay, okay, no need to worry." Cheska raised her eyebrow. "But doesn't that mean you're good holo-programmers?"

Chris, having recovered, stepped right in front of the camera. "And don't miss the other 40 contestants tomorrow!"

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Me: That was lousy.

Dianne: It wasn't. Put Rose Gumbo and her family inside and you have a blockbuster fan fic.

Me: No jokes. Read and review please.

Wanda: Why the long face, Casey?

Cosmo: She doesn't HAVE a long face, Wanda.

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END NOTES/REFERENCES

The numbers right beside the contestants are to help me (and you) keep track of them.


End file.
